Naruto Nonsense!
by Electric Banana
Summary: Because I don't have a large enough attention span to write actual fan fiction, I've been writing these extremely short stories! They're like fillers, only they don't suck! Note: These stories make no sense whatsoever. Contains my OC. R&R!
1. Mistaken Identity

**Nyoko:** "Hey Gaara! Waz' up?!"

**Gaara:** "..."

**Nyoko:** "Gaara? Hey, Gaara! GAARA!!" She starts shaking him back and forth. "WHY WONT YOU ANSWER MEEEEE?!"

**Hinata:** "Umm... shouldn't we tell her that she's talking to a tree?"

**Kiba:** "Now where's the fun in that?"

**Nyoko:** "Nuuuuuuuuu! Gaara!! You feel so cold and hard!" She sniff and puts her head against the tree. "No pulse... I knew it! He's dead!!" She sobs uncontrollably.

_5 minutes later_

**Nyoko:** She kept on sobbing. "G-G-Gaara..."

**Large crowd of people:** They watch Nyoko while eating popcorn.

**Gaara(the real one): **"..." He sighs.

--

Oh! I forgot to mention that Nyoko is my OC! Anyways, rate and review! You know you want to!


	2. Blackmail

Every main guy from Naruto stands in a clearing.

**Sasuke: **"Did you check the perimeter?"

**Neji: **"Yes. Not a person in sight."

**Shikamaru: **"Geez, this is so troublesome."

**Naruto: **"Hey! Stop complaining. You WANTED to be in this, remember?!"

**Shino: **"Remember, this is top secret. No one else is to know about this. Am I clear?"

**Kiba: **"Yeah, yeah. Let's just get started already!"

**Kakashi: **"Fine, fine…" He turns on the music.

Suddenly, everyone starts doing the Lucky Star dance, while wearing the cheerleader uniforms.

**Nyoko: **She pops up from out of a nearby lake while holding a waterproof video camera. "Hehehe... I love the smell of blackmail in the morning! I can't wait until this gets onto YouTube…"


	3. Training Tobi

_At the Akatsuki base…_

**Tobi: **"SEMPAI!" He runs up to Deidara.

**Deidara: **"What is it, un…"

**Tobi: **"HeysempaiyoullneverguesswhatIjustfoundoutsideofthebase!Idontknowwhatitisbutitsreallycoolandshineyandstuff.Canyoucomeoutandseewhatitispleasepleaseplease?WaitnevermindTobiremeberswhatitisnow.SomekindacamerathingthatNyokochanhadwithhertoday.Idon'tknowwhyitsoutsideofthebasebutIbetthat-"

**Deidara: **"SHUT UP, TOBI!" He starts strangling him.

**Tobi: **"Sempai...stop...Tobi...can't...breathe…"

**Nyoko: **"Deidara! Stop hurting Tobi!"

**Deidara: **He drops Tobi. "But he's being annoying as hell, un!"

**Nyoko: **"But he'll never learn this way!" She holds out a book. "I read in this book that you need to teach him through positive reinforcement."

**Deidara: **"But, that's a book on training dogs, un."

**Nyoko: **"Same thing! Now Tobi, say you're sorry for annoying Deidara."

**Tobi: **"I'm sorry, sempai."

**Nyoko: **"Good! Here's your treat!" She feeds him a dog biscuit

**Tobi: **He somehow eats it without taking his mask off. O.o

**Nyoko: **"Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?"

**Tobi: **"I am! I am!"


	4. The NotSoEpic Chase Scene!

Neji: -randomly walking around-

Nyoko: -appears from under a rock- Ah ha!

Neji: Oh -insert swear word here-! -runs like hell-

Nyoko: PREPARE TO FACE MY WRATH!! -runs after him like a maniac-

Neji: -hides in some random house-

Nyoko: NEEEEJJIIIIIII?! Where aaaaaaaaaaaaaare youuuuuuuuu?! -breaks the door down- I know you're there! You can't hide from me!

Neji: -looks through a window- Heh, she's got the wrong house... -turns around and looks at the room he's in-

A few moments of being in the yaoi fangirl's house later...

Neji: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! -runs out of the building-

Nyoko: -sees Neji- There you are! -chases after him- Come back here you -insert swear word here-!!

Neji: -runs into an alley- Crud! A dead end...

Nyoko: -smiles evilly- I finally got you... -slowly approaches him-

Neji: -flinches-

Nyoko: -bops him on the head- YOU COULDA HAD A V8!! -walks away with self-satisfaction-

Neji: I got mentally scarred trying to prevent this?!


	5. Duckbutts, Squirrels, and Crack! Oh my!

Naruto: -cracking up-

Nyoko: -walks by- Hmm? What's so funny?

Naruto: I slipped some crack into Sasuke's food... -giggles-

Nyoko: Wait... HOW AND WHY'DJA GET YOUR HANDS ON ILLEGAL DRUGS, BAKA?!

Naruto: I have my sources... . .

Nyoko: O.o

Sasuke: -twitches violently-

Nyoko: Umm... Just how much did you put in?

Naruto: ... Ya know, I don't really know myself...

Nyoko: You idiot! You could freaking kill him!!

Naruto: But I thought you wanted him dead!

Nyoko: Yes, but not because of drugs! And I wasn't the one causing his death!

Naruto: Oh...

Sasuke: SQURRELS!! -still twitching- Godzilla-squirrels! Squirrelzilla!

Both: WTF? O.o

Sasuke: -dances and sings like a maniac-

I dissed a squirrel and I liked it!

She said: Oh no you didn't!

I dissed a squirrel, or so I thought!

Turns out that squirrels can't talk!

It was so strange! It was so weird!

Turns out she just had a beard!

Nyoko: Ok. I'm officially disturbed now...

Sasuke: QUACK! Quack-quack! Squirrels go quack! And fire lazors out dere noses! -starts flapping his arms- IMMA FLYIN' SQUIRREL! -quacks-

Naruto: I think he's finally... quacked! XD

Nyoko: Now's not the time for puns! D:

Sasuke: I love you, Mr. Glasses Man! -falls over unconscious-

Nyoko: Wow, I didn't think he'd be into shojo manga...

Naruto: Wha? Never mind...

Nyoko: -pokes Sasuke's body with a twig- Is he alive?

Naruto: I really don't know... -pulls out bag- Stupid crack.

Nyoko: Umm... Naruto, that isn't crack.

Naruto: Huh?

Nyoko: That's just some grocery store brand sugar...

Naruto: It is? No wonder he doesn't like sweets... Wanna go eat ramen?

Nyoko: Sure, but you're paying!

-they walk away-

Sakura: Are they gone yet?

Ino: I think so.

-both come out of the shadows and take off with Sasuke's still unconscious body-

(RAPE! Wait, how would you rape a guy? O.o Never mind, I don't wanna know...)


	6. Umm Interesting

At the local bookstore...

Nyoko: Hmmm... -hears voices and turns around-

Sasuke: -reading Twilight- Oh Edward... -sighs dreamily-

Naruto: -reading Fullmetal Alchemist- Hey! Edward Elric is way better than Edward Cullen!

Sasuke: CULLEN!

Naruto: ELRIC!

-they get into fight-

Shikamaru: -comes running in- OMIGOSH! The bookstore on the other side of town has the latest volume of Fruits Basket!

Sasuke and Naruto: -stop fighting- Omg! We need to get a copy!

-they all skip off into the sunset-

Nyoko: O.o

Ino: -suddenly flies in with dragon wings- Mwuahahaha! I'm a pygmy marmoset!

Nyoko: -wakes up- Woah... I've gotta stop eating raw cookie dough before bed...


	7. Caramellolcats!

Hey! Do you want to feel so powerful? Try Ninjathirst! Energy drinks for ninjas who need gratuitous amounts of power! With all new flavors like Shocklate! Chocolate energy! It's like adding chocolate to Chidori! Sound the alarm! You're gonna feel uncomfortably powerful! What's that? You want Ramen? How about Rawmen! Made with chakra! Real chakra! Jutsus! AAAARGH! You'll be good at them! It's an energy drink for ninjas! Ninergy! -continues on-

Naruto: Wow! I'm gonna get some of that!

Nyoko: You do realize that that's a lame parody of a video on YouTube for an energy drink that doesn't exist!!

Naruto: -ignores- Omigosh! I'll be spawning jutsus! 10,000 jutsus!

Nyoko: It's over 9,000!!

Kiba: -poofs in with a banana suit on- I am a banana! -dances to Peanut Butter Jelly Time-

Rock Lee: IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR! -shoots a laser out of his mouth-

Shino: -sings "Never Gonna Give You Up"-

Kakashi: O RLY?

-other random internet memes appear out of nowhere-

Random person: Ok! That's enough! -shoots the author-

...

...

...

...

Nyoko: And that kids, is why you always brush your teeth! The End! -shuts book-

Random Orphans: O.o


End file.
